Gorean Talk Radio The One... The Only... Voice of Gor!!!

[22:10] (jesszabelle-tsh): ---`-,-{@-Tonight's Topic: Flash Fire -@}-,-`--- : Under what circumstances can a blazing slave belly be reduced to a flicker? Moreover, can we -- how do we -- turn that flickering ember back into the raging slave belly it once was?--
[22:11] (kardelan{S-F}): usually someone thats lost the fire..they were in a bad relationship..and that just takes time
[22:12] (kardelan{S-F}): if they have had more than one bad relationship..well, things get a lil dicey then..cuz you got a lot of emotional baggage to deal with
[22:12] (Wyrd): Yep, step one, correct what put the fire out, which may not be possible if they are still with the one who put it out.
[22:12] (Zarius): a slave must be praised, for the good she does, and not beaten down, to kill a slave fire, you only have to ignore the slave, verbally abuse the slave, or simply beat the slave down time and again, and never give them praise
[22:13] (kardelan{S-F}): i know if i do well, Master is pleased..he tells me he is, he rewards me..i love that..those little gold wrapped chocolates mean a lot
[22:13] (wenchW): there's other ways too...violating trust comes to mind
[22:14] (Wyrd): The right touch or look will re-ignite it is it was there truely to begin with, but that requires the right Master touch or look at them.
[22:14] (feylin): i agree, Master Wyrd...what i hear from other girls the most is that "He doesn't master me."
[22:14] (Wyrd): is=if
[22:14] ({alyria}Gareth): Is that really as simple as just the "right touch" or the "right look?"
[22:14] (kardelan{S-F}): yep
[22:14] (kardelan{S-F}): lol
[22:15] (kardelan{S-F}): Master Sang knocked me over...and all he did was say hello
[22:15] (Wyrd): Often a bit of hair pulling and a strong Master's kiss will do it.
[22:15] (kardelan{S-F}): i had to leave the room..and it was my house!!!
[22:16] (feylin): those are just moments ~ albeit lovely ones.
[22:16] (wenchW): it wasnt "just one touch or look" that did it for me with Master
[22:16] (kardelan{S-F}): it was for me LOL
[22:16] (kardelan{S-F}): like being run over by a truck
[22:16] (feylin): i guess i was thinking of day-to-day life of M/s
[22:17] (kardelan{S-F}): it still is
[22:17] (feylin): otherwise its just a bedroom kink?
[22:17] (Wyrd): No, it is not one touch or look, that keeps it burning, it is one touch or look that often lights it or makes it burn more, but those looks and touches have to continue.
[22:17] (wenchW): part of what got us together was me saying "i like what i've seen so far..." i wouldnt of done that if i was still morning or healing
[22:18] (wenchW): mourning*
[22:18] (kardelan{S-F}): a lot of it depends on the person too..how together they are in their lives and whether or not they are even open to a relationship
[22:19] (kardelan{S-F}): i was not looking for a relathionship...i had a good job, nice place etc..its not like i was looking for someone to ride in on a white steed and make my life wonderful..it already was
[22:19] (feylin): is this assuming that if a girl "loses her fire" she leaves the relationship? Isn't there an ebb and flow?
[22:20] (wenchW): once i saw what i liked that look and touch ignited a blaze!
[22:20] (kardelan{S-F}): depends on what they have going on in their lives...add a bunch of kids, a job etc..yep..it ebbs and flows to certain extent
[22:20] (Wyrd): If the fire is gone, nothing good will come, it can dwindle down sometimes and grow to a raging inferno other times, but it has to stay going at some level.
[22:21] (wenchW): foxy: one takes enough blows the light goes out and i am not sure you can make it burns as hard as it once did
[22:21] (feylin): she is still what she is, right? So, the same experience could happen with a Master then?
[22:22] (kardelan{S-F}): i think that happens too...how many men walk out on a long term relationship cuz they have had enough responsiblity and want out
[22:22] (wenchW): i disagree, foxy...it may not be time for a while, but if one choses to, it CAN burn even hotter than before
[22:22] (kardelan{S-F}): life is not static...it happens to you..it can change you forever
[22:22] (kardelan{S-F}): and when the crisis passes you may not be teh same person as when it started
[22:25] (wenchW): [22:20] foxy: will i think in the beginning wench thats true nothing can stop us are hunger is so stronmg we over come most
[22:25] (wenchW): [22:20] wenchW: lol...i'm sure we can find one for you!
[22:25] (wenchW): [22:20] atiyaJADGA: just kidding LOL
[22:25] (wenchW): [22:20] foxy: but with each blow the light does burn as bright and soon there is only a flicker of the slave within us
[22:25] (wenchW): [22:21] wenchW: i found out the opposite in my life...
[22:25] (wenchW): [22:21] foxy: doesnt
[22:25] (wenchW): [22:21] wenchW: in the 47 yrs before Master, dont you think i had my share of blows?
[22:26] (Wyrd): Manytimes those blows come from those not quite worthy of being served.
[22:26] (wenchW): 22:22] foxy: i think once and awhile we fel that slave with in and it excites us but the light soon burns out because as always another blow
[22:26] (wenchW): [22:22] wenchW: there's been YEARS, yes, that i wasnt ready to give to a Man, but that "belly" was still there deep underneath
[22:26] (Iskander): Now Playing: Pink - Get This Party Started
[22:26] (feylin): That is a great point, wench.
[22:27] (feylin): i'm not down with the whole "belly" thing..but i do agree that its there...that you are what you are.
[22:27] (kardelan{S-F}): i was single for a long time before i met Master...two failed marriages..i was not the most receptive person to a relationship
[22:27] (wenchW): 22:23] foxy: oh the belly never goes away i agree
[22:27] (wenchW): [22:23] atiyaJADGA: then perhaps is not a question of whether it burns out or not...but if a slave meets the right Master to re-ignite it in her?
[22:27] (wenchW): [22:24] wenchW: so if the belly is still there, why cant the fire burn at its hottest?
[22:27] (wenchW): [22:24] foxy: now i like that atiya
[22:29] (wenchW): [22:25] foxy: because wench we start protecting ourselfs in ways our slavery doesnt show
[22:29] (wenchW): [22:25] wenchW: yes, we do...but we have to be willing to put our guard down a bit if the right Man comes along
[22:30] (wenchW): [22:26] atiyaJADGA: but does it take a bit of time to figure out IF He IS the right man?
[22:30] (wenchW): [22:27] wenchW: not only does it take a bit of time, i think it should take a quite a bit of time!
[22:30] (kardelan{S-F}): and i think it takes a lot of honest communication
[22:31] (wenchW): i missed the comment about "if you are still with the same that put it out"...how true!...either the same Master...or the same dynamicss
[22:31] (kardelan{S-F}): no headgames, no silly school girl games..no petty crap ....honest open communication
[22:32] (kardelan{S-F}): you got it jess..godiva LOL
[22:32] (kardelan{S-F}): no one knows what they mean when he leaves one on my station..except naja lol
[22:33] ({alyria}Gareth): and you unwrap it, enjoy it, and toss the wrapper immediately, right?
[22:34] (kardelan{S-F}): its just so nice to see one..it means ive been especially pleasing and he wants me to know
[22:34] (kardelan{S-F}): its amazing how much easier it is to run a relationship smoothly when you just tell the other guy whats going on in your head
[22:34] (kardelan{S-F}): convincing ppl thats the answer is the hard part
[22:35] (kardelan{S-F}): now i wont speak about the men..cuz to be honest, i dont have the "dear abbey" thing with men..so i dont really have much to say about how they feel...but ive listened to my share of women..on and off line....
[22:36] (kardelan{S-F}): and 99 percent of the time my first question is...did you tell him? and most of the time they say..well not in so many words
[22:36] (kardelan{S-F}): well heck whats he supposed to do..GUESS what youre thinking or feeling...thats a lot to expect from someone
[22:37] (Wyrd): Don't you know kardelan, we are mind readers... :D
[22:37] * kardelan{S-F} laughs..its so strange to me that somehow women think that men can
[22:37] (kardelan{S-F}): cuz they sure get upset when the poor fool guesses WRONG
[22:37] (kardelan{S-F}): wouldnt it have been easier to just be open and honest and SAY something
[22:37] (kardelan{S-F}): lol
[22:38] (kardelan{S-F}): for a long time Master traveld for his job...he was gone for months at a time...i dont want to spend time playing silly head games about how i feel...i just told him
[22:38] (kardelan{S-F}): lol
[22:39] (kardelan{S-F}): i could say " i hate this job you have, i hate that it takes you from us, i hate that i worry when youre gone"...and im upset but i know this is life and it will be ok if you say its ok...he'd say..its ok...id cry and he'd hug me..and we went on
[22:39] (kardelan{S-F}): you cant change it..but being ticked dont change it either..recognize your feelings, express them and go on
[22:46] (kardelan{S-F}): Gor gives us the unique opportunity of being allowed to spew our guts to our Masters...we are allowed to tell them all of what we feel...i dont have to worry about if its going to be wrong or bad...it has to be HONEST....if im unhappy i dont pretend that im happy
[22:46] (feylin): What if He decides its not that big of a deal?
[22:47] (kardelan{S-F}): whether or not that can be fixed is not the issue the issue is that it is demanded that i tell Master about it
[22:47] (kardelan{S-F}): it doesnt matter...what matters is that there is not reserved feelings...you deal with it up front
[22:47] (feylin): i mean...a slave can communicate it if he allows it (and we would probably all agree that it is healthy to allow it), but he might not think of it with the same magnitude that she does.
[22:48] (kardelan{S-F}): when you let it all stew in your head, it all becomes a lot bigger than it really is most of the time
[22:48] (kardelan{S-F}): if you take it out..look at it objectively...both of you..suddenly it really dont seem so big
[22:49] (kardelan{S-F}): god sometimes i feel so inadequate..my confidence gets rattled...and i get pretty shook
[22:49] (kardelan{S-F}): now Master doesnt really want to hear that..but he needs to know, cuz hes the only one that can get me to look at it realisticaly and not let my emotions blow it out of proportion
[22:50] (kardelan{S-F}): but to stew on that...or to pretend im not worried or shook up when he asks??? ooo thats a bad thing
[22:50] (kardelan{S-F}): lol
[22:51] (kardelan{S-F}): because then i am holding back ..i am not being his...then things get to really be a mess...cuz then you start banging your head with that
[22:51] (kardelan{S-F}): believe me..its really better to just tackle it head on and not let it get a life of its own
[22:52] (kardelan{S-F}): it started with a journal...learning to recognize what i was feeling...not just a general, bad day kinda thing
[22:53] (kardelan{S-F}): you have to search your soul for the answer..am i angry, hurt, scared etc...really understand what you feel..once you start to do that, then you can start verbalizing it all
[22:53] (kardelan{S-F}): god at first i thought i would never shut up lol
[22:53] (kardelan{S-F}): niether did Master i think too lol
[22:53] (Gareth_H): I a, back
[22:53] (Gareth_H): am as well
[22:53] ({alyria}Gareth): welcome back, my Master
[22:53] (feylin): Welcome back, Master Gareth.
[22:53] (kardelan{S-F}): welcome back Master
[22:56] (jesszabelle-tsh): what advice would you give to a girl who is feeling a little out of touch with the fire in her belly?
[22:56] (kardelan{S-F}): a journal
[22:56] (kardelan{S-F}): i know everyone sighs when i say that..but you put down what you feel on paper...then go back several days later and read it..amazing how insightful that can be
[22:57] (kardelan{S-F}): and not essays..random thoughts...sometimes i wish is a good way to start a sentence in a journal
[22:57] (Gareth_H): the answer usually seems to Me a look inward...and an expression outward....for those that write to express their soul..a journal can be done...if a girl is a poetess...then that may be the outlet....it could be painting....it could be dance
[22:58] (Gareth_H): but the expression of the examined inward..projected outward is always of value
[22:58] (kardelan{S-F}): find a way to realize what it is you feel specifically...you have to identify the emotion
[22:58] (kardelan{S-F}): you cant even begin to understand why you do something if you dont know what it is youre doing to start with
[22:58] (kardelan{S-F}): "a bad day
[22:58] (kardelan{S-F}): is not an emotion
[22:59] ({alyria}Gareth): You would not advocate direct communication of the feeling or thought, but channeling that toward some art form instead, Master?
[22:59] (wenchW): for some it doesnt have to be writing, or dance, or painting...it could be just cooking a nice dinner...lighting some candles
[23:00] (kardelan{S-F}): thats it...as long as what youre doing is identifing your emotions and the motivations of your actions
[23:00] (Gareth_H): communication....is only advisable...when and if the emotion has been as long to calm
[23:00] (Gareth_H): particularly if its directed because of a problem
[23:00] (Gareth_H): I do think that expression allows focus
[23:00] (wenchW): not sure i know what You mean there, Master?
[23:01] (Gareth_H): and focus allows clarity...anc clarity is always necessary for effective communication
[23:01] (Gareth_H): well it should have been allowed to calm
[23:01] (kardelan{S-F}): im a straight up kind of person...if ive got something on my mind i ask for the time and dump it...no point in messing around..but thats what works for me
[23:02] (kardelan{S-F}): by nature im a problem solver..find the problem, identify the options and fix it
[23:02] (wenchW): i dont wait til i have perfect clarity to communicate with Master...He expects it from me daily, as do i
[23:02] (kardelan{S-F}): im lucky if i have time to duck let alone clarify
[23:02] (kardelan{S-F}): lol
[23:02] (Gareth_H): perfect clarity is unattainable...adequate clarity is necesary
[23:02] (wenchW): there's time, yes, i may be too emotional to have a conversation, but those times are short
[23:03] (kardelan{S-F}): usually its asses the available data and jump
[23:03] (kardelan{S-F}): if its something we need to hash out..then we usually set a time for that...taxes..book keeping paperwork is not a plus for either of us lol
[23:04] (kardelan{S-F}): so when we have to deal with it..Master chooses times that are less stressed cuz we dont like doing it to start with lol
[23:05] ({alyria}Gareth): jess, trying to address the "follow-through" issue is difficult with ANYONE, much less a "Master."
[23:05] * feylin smiles @ jess.
[23:07] (kardelan{S-F}): you hack your way thru life...just about the time you think you have time to put the machete down and take a break...theres a mudslide lol...so you learn to keep those lines of communication flowing ...you have no assumptions and no guesses..disasters happen a lot simply because the communications broke down
[23:09] ({alyria}Gareth): jess, trying paper instead of online might bring it more down to the speed of thought for a journal.
[23:09] (kardelan{S-F}): i like pen on paper too alyria
[23:09] (kardelan{S-F}): i can tell how im feeling by my hand writing
[23:10] (kardelan{S-F}): if its scrawled or neat
[23:10] ({alyria}Gareth): and if you tear the paper dotting an i, it's worth looking in a few days.
[23:10] (kardelan{S-F}): that in itself tells me a lot
[23:10] (kardelan{S-F}): ive done that alyria LOL
[23:10] (Gareth_H): as to the topic...I do not mean to imply that kajirae ought to stew on anything
[23:10] (dianeagirl): tY master
[23:11] (Gareth_H): I do think that rekindling a fire....requires some self examination
[23:11] (Gareth_H): I do think that expression of that....is at least helpful
[23:11] (Gareth_H): particularly for those things that are troubling..internally..and cannot be readily identified
[23:12] (kardelan{S-F}): time is precious...and ive spent enough of it away from Sang for a lot of outside pressures...im not wasting one second playing word games now, its a lot faster to say..boy i had a lousy day i feel unloved rejected dejected etc and im beggin you to make me feel like its all worht it
[23:12] (kardelan{S-F}): i need that from him...its the reason i do what i do every day...and when teh world kicks me hard, only he can fix it
[23:13] (kardelan{S-F}): im not going to stand around for two days trying to find the right time to tell him..im going to beg for time and express teh need to fix it quickly...since it usually only takes him saying its ok...we dont waste a lot of time on this
[23:15] (wenchW): exacty, kardelan!....direct and honest, even when i'm confused or angry or whatever
[23:16] (kardelan{S-F}): i have spent yrs holding down the homefront..im not wasting time feeling bad when it takes a moment to fix that...and Master is the same way..hey, fix this
[23:17] (wenchW): on rekindling my slavery, however i express it, i need to know its appreciated...this may sound self serving...that its for *me*...but if a Master isnt pleased, what the heck am i a slave for?
[23:18] (kardelan{S-F}): when i go to my knees and beg Master to take this mess and make it right, remind me of what i am..i need to hear you say it ..i need that like i need water...i live for him to tell me, and Gor is that, permission to need, permission to beg, permission to live my life this way
[23:20] (wenchW): HOWEVER not when it gets in the way of a WoW mission...lol
[23:20] (kardelan{S-F}): lol
[23:21] (wenchW): omg, you should see Master's face when you read that!
[23:21] (kardelan{S-F}): i am kajira...i am what i am because Sang wishes it, because he found it in me and gave it to me...and all that i am, is his
[23:23] (kardelan{S-F}): i love hearing her read what i type
[23:23] (kardelan{S-F}): god she makes it sound sooooo good ya know
[23:23] (kardelan{S-F}): lol
[23:23] (jesszabelle-tsh): aw thanks!
[23:23] (wenchW): lol...i agree...perfect inflections

[23:30] (jesszabelle-tsh): i imagine it's the same with a Master and slave... why would a Master and slave fall into the apathetic rut that so many seem to fall into? the one where there's nothing more than (not to minimise) a friendship and no fire?

[23:41] ({alyria}Gareth): all relationships have to have that underlying basic respect and affection as the foundation for anything above and beyond. Who knows what happens?

[23:42] ({alyria}Gareth): maybe it's how people deal with or adapt to the "grime of everyday existence"

[23:43] (wenchW): marci munden: that's been done
[23:43] (wenchW): marci munden: put the right Master with the right slave, right chemistry and you have a burning slave belly
[23:43] (wenchW): marci munden: let me share a story..............
[23:43] (wenchW): marci munden: i was listening to some very sexually explicit music, thinking about my Master
[23:44] (wenchW): marci munden: my body got so charged up that when i walked into my apt and went to get on my laptop, i blew the os and my ipod was having a spaz attack, from the energy
[23:44] (wenchW): marci munden: so , to me, that is a prime example of the right Master with the right slave
[23:44] (wenchW): oh my!
[23:48] (wenchW): marci munden: there is no other logical explanation than the energy that had built up in my body from Master's influence on my slave belly
[23:48] (wenchW): marci munden: and the laptop was in the same place it always was, no differnece other than the energy
[23:49] (wenchW): thats amazing...
[23:49] (wenchW): marci munden: tell me about it, blew my mind